Mekelle፡Telaviv, Nairobi, Pretoria, London, (Horn News Hub).
The Goofing, Woofing, and Woo-hoeing Partners: The Three-Headed Hydra
Devouring Tigray
By Dejen Mezgebe Abrha (PhD)
Introduction
Tigray’s political crisis and throes are best understood not as a clash of independent
actors, nor as a competition for power, nor even as a simple divide between those who
advocate for independence from Ethiopia and those who prefer continued union. Rather, it is the interplay of a three-headed hydra-a mythical beast whose heads act differently yet sustain the same monstrous body. The three heads are the Goofing (the TPLF itself), the Woofing (TPLF’s “Debay Cadres”: digital activists, journalists, and infiltrators), and the Woo-hoeing (genocidal forces and their allies). These forces are far more destructive and intertwined. Individually corrosive yet collectively entangled, they form a monster that devours Tigray’s very body. Meanwhile, genuine opposition, though potentially offering curative alternative policies, remains marginalized by resource scarcity and the silencing bite of the Woofing. Unless this cycle is decisively disrupted,Tigray risks extinction.
The Goofing: Chronic Blunders of the TPLF
The first head of the hydra is the Goofing, representing the TPLF. Once the dominant
political force in Tigray, it has now become the chief blunderer. Its chronic
miscalculations-in politics, governance, diplomacy, negotiation, and military affairs-
have systemically deepened Tigray’s vulnerability. These errors are not merely
accidental or isolated; they are the structural byproducts of the TPLF’s obsession with
consolidating its grip on power at any cost.
Like a head swinging blindly, the Goofing often bites in the wrong direction, striking
critics or rivals instead of confronting the real threats facing Tigray. Each attempt to
entrench dominance over the political space produces new weaknesses, leaving Tigray
exposed to internal paralysis and external predation.
The paradox is striking: while the TPLF proclaims itself the guardian of Tigray, its very mode of survival-power-hoarding, silencing dissent, and clinging to authority-ensures the repetition of self-defeating mistakes. Each misstep not only weakens Tigray but also sustains the other heads of the hydra, turning folly into fuel for collective and ever deepening suffering.
The Woofing: Digital Fangs
The second head is the Woofing, the TPLF’s digital fangs-activists, journalists, and
infiltrators, mockingly called “Debay Cadres.” They often disguise themselves as neutral
voices or as critics of “any misdeed” while in reality serving as shields for the TPLF.
Unlike mere noisemakers, these fangs both bark and bite. They bark incessantly at
opposition figures and cast suspicion on the international community whenever they
think criticism is directed at the TPLF. But they also bite-through labeling, shaming,
and frustrating opposition voices until they are silenced or discredited. In this way, the Woofing neutralizes potential challengers and blocks meaningful debate. They prevent constructive opposition policies from gaining traction and shield the TPLF’s chronic stupidity from correction. Their bite is not one of independent strength but of parasitic aggression: they feed on the Goofing’s mistakes by ensuring no one can hold it accountable.
The Woo-hoeing: Feasting and Fueling Tensions
The third head is the Woo-hoeing-the genocidal forces and their allies bent on Tigray’s annihilation, aiming to erase it “from history, memory, and the system.” For them, every misstep or miscalculation by the TPLF is both nourishment and opportunity-a feast
and a weapon. They thrive on the TPLF’s blunders and on the Woofing’s silencing of
dissent, converting each into fuel for their mission of annihilation. But the Woo-hoeing do not merely feast. They deliberately stoke internal tensions within Tigray, exploiting rifts, amplifying suspicion, and ensuring that mistrust deepens. Each failure and silenced voice becomes a tool in their campaign, preventing any corrective measures and turning Tigray’s challenges into instruments of attrition and annihilation.
The Hydra and the Marginalized Opposition
Together, the Goofing, Woofing, and Woo-hoeing form a hydra that relentlessly devours Tigray. The Goofing blunders, the Woofing barks and bites at critics to shield those blunders, and the Woo-hoeing feasts on and fuels the resulting chaos. Yet outside the hydra’s monstrous anatomy stands a marginalized but vital actor: the nationalist opposition. Their policies, if empowered, could offer remedies to Tigray’s crisis. However, they remain crippled by lack of financial, mass mobilizational, and
military capacity or strength. Worse still, they endure the relentless barking and biting
of the Woofing, which discredits their efforts and denies them space for constructive
engagement. Thus, while they hold curative potential, they are condemned to watch
helplessly as the hydra devours Tigray.
Conclusion
The hydra metaphor makes plain that Tigray’s crisis is not simply imposed from outside
but reproduced from within, through a destructive interplay of stupidity, silencing, and predation. The Goofing blunders, the Woofing shields those blunders by barking and biting at critics, and the Woo-hoeing turns them into fuel for annihilation. Meanwhile, the opposition-the one actor that could offer an alternative-remains shamed, frustrated, weakened, ignored, and even worse demonized as traitorous. The decisive task is therefore clear: to sever the Goofing head-the chronic stupidity of the TPLF. Unless this first head is decisively confronted and severed, the hydra will continue to feed until Tigray itself is entirely devoured.
